Sunday, November 14, 2010

Fate: Chapter 12

"Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go." - Author Unknown

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

An: Thank you to Buff82 for sticking with me and being the best beta a girl could ask for and also to Maggieloo402 for pre-reading this chapter.

Chapter 12: Secrets, Secrets Are No Fun

QPOV

"I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do."

The man I had known all my life, the man I shared a name with, sat across the table watching me patiently. His calm demeanor irritated me, but I knew he was right, he couldn't help me - no one could. Calling the Elders together for a mid-morning meeting had been a last minute attempt to fix my current situation.

I sat there, silent, as he began to speak again. "You know I'd help you if I could, you're family, but five of you have imprinted now, and so far no one has been able to break that bond between wolf and mate. We just don't know how it could be done, I'm sorry." His eyes pleaded with me to understand.

My jaw tightened, the small light of hope I felt when I called the meeting flickered, and I felt it dim almost wholly. Anger bubbled inside of me as the fleeting thought that I had no choice in my destiny passed through my mind. I pushed it aside, not wanting to accept it.

Things had seemed much simpler when I awoke earlier that morning beside Bella, as I did every morning that Charlie worked the night shift. I had felt a semblance of peace. Watching her as she slept, I caressed the smooth expanse of her back, memorizing every part of her body that touched my fingertips. She was beautiful, her entire body carved from perfection and she was mine. My heart swelled with the love I felt for her, and once again, I found myself baffled that there could be anyway on Earth I would ever feel that way for another. Fuck imprinting, Bella was who I was meant to be with - I'd make sure of it.

She had begun to stir, so I stilled my movements, waiting as she sighed deeply before turning her head and facing me, her eyes still closed. I took a moment to admire her delicate features, fighting the urge to trace my fingers across her lips as they twitched, the corner of her mouth lifting up. I smiled, enjoying the serene moment.

Over the last two weeks things had started to look up for us - at least - I hoped they were. My relationship with Bella had eased, no longer a blanket of tension lying between us; we were back to the old us, the 'us' before my fucked up ancestry stole away the future Bella and I had mapped out together. I fought back the urge to growl at that infuriating thought.

All I had to do was think of the ring buried in my top dresser drawer, just waiting to be put on Bella's finger, and I was reminded of why I needed to see the Elders - that there was still hope. I'd figure out a way to fix everything, break the imprint, and Bella would never have to know.

It wasn't that I wanted to keep secrets from her, but Bella was happy from what I could tell. Truly, inexplicably happy for the first time since returning to Forks for her summer break, and I wasn't going to be the one to take that away from her. She'd been through so much in her past, broken so many times by those she loved, that I didn't have the courage - or the strength - to break her again.

My plans to meet with the Elders while Bella was off visiting Jake were not a planned event. My grandfather, Quil Sr., was visiting, and it suddenly occurred to me that they might be able to help. That if anyone knew of a way to break the imprint, it would be them. Obviously, didn't have any explanation when Sam had imprinted. He had unfortunately broken Leah's heart when he imprinted on her cousin, Emily; but I couldn't just not try and ask for their help. We weren't like Leah and Sam, Bella and I - we were different - we'd be different; because we would stay together, imprint be damned.

I went into the meeting hoping like hell, but not expecting much, and as I looked around the small room of Tribal Elders who had attended per my request I felt like I had finally lost. Looking into each one of their faces was like looking at stone carvings, stern and serious, only their eyes revealed the sorrow they felt for me, supplying me with my answer before I even asked the question. Taking a deep breath, I finally spoke, "There has to be another way, something I can do."

My Grandfather addressed me, folding his hands on the table in front of him, "Whether you like it or not, you have a decision to make, but you're fighting a battle that cannot be won."

My eyes fell closed, it was my worst fears being spoken aloud; each word more painful than the last. The emotions were building inside me, they had been for weeks, and I was like a shaken soda bottle - ready to explode. The pressures of keeping this secret to myself, of feeling like I was losing control of my own life- everything; it was becoming too much to handle.

"In my opinion, you should be thankful to have found your soul mate this early in life, not all wolves do. You boys have been blessed." That was it. I finally snapped.

"What about Bella?" I shouted, standing up and knocking my chair over in the process, but I couldn't bring myself to care. "I love her, I won't just leave her."

"What about Claire?" The voice I heard surprised me. Billy, although the closest thing to a tribe Chief we had, had remained nearly silent throughout the entire meeting. "What happens to her if you fight this, if you choose Bella?"

I was momentarily stunned; I hadn't even thought about what might happen to Claire. We didn't understand imprinting and there was no telling what kind of affect all this might have on her. Despite all my arguing to the contrary, I did care about her, I could feel the imprint connection I had with her. Somewhat embarrassed by my outburst, I lifted my chair back upright and slumped down into it, having no real answer for him.

My control was slipping, the hold I had on the reigns weakening, I was unsure how much longer I could attempt to steer. I could feel defeat washing at my feet, threatening to pull me under. As much as I loved Bella with all of my heart and soul, I felt Claire as well - the unexplainable bond causing me to ache at the thought of her being hurt. Would she feel a void if I succeeded? She was so young; would she forever have a hole in her heart that she could not explain? I could never live with myself if that were the case. I had not considered anything but Bella thus far and that reality came crashing into me like a bullet train.

"I don't know," my voice sounded small to even my own ears. No one spoke as I sat there with my head in my hands, my fingers gripping my hair almost painfully. This was it - the end - there was nothing more I could do to change what had happen, so it was time to be honest. "She's going to hate me," I drew in a shaky breath, "but she deserves to know about Claire. I'll tell her."

A numb feeling began to overtake my body, pushing the pain of the situation that I should have been feeling back. Fury laced through the numbness, reverberating through me as the disbelief and denial gave way to reality.

It took me a moment to realize everyone had stood and were getting ready to leave, apparently deciding that the meeting was over. I was still drowning in my own thoughts, trying process the last two hours. Something my Grandfather had said was nagging at the back of my mind, and I struggled to remember.

Walking from the building in a daze, anger edging at the surface, I had just stepped through the door when it clicked and my eyes widened with realization. It was also the moment I noticed a very large, angry figure not far from where I stood.

"Jake ...," I questioned, approaching him cautiously, but stopping a few feet away. His body was quivering slightly, and I didn't want to get too close in case he phased. His eyes were menacing as he glared at me, and I knew that could mean only one thing - that whatever had brought him here, to confront me, involved Bella. But it was his next words that confirmed everything.

"Who, the fuck, is Claire?" he growled at me harshly.

He knew.

He fucking knew.

I managed to hold back any visible response, but I knew there was no walking away from it this time, no more deception. Jake was my best friend, but I wanted to tell Bella first, so I played with fire and tried not to get burned. Not a smart move when dealing with an unstable werewolf - thank God I was one too.

"Emily's niece," I answered, shrugging my shoulders and feigning ignorance. Off to the side, Billy and Quil Sr. had been speaking quietly with one another, but their conversation fell silent, both of them turning to stare at the two of us. Everyone else, thankfully, had left; there was no telling what would happen.

"Not the kid, the girl you're obviously fucking around on Bella with!"

My face scrunched up in confusion, and I stared at him in pure disbelief. I was certain he was there to pummel me for keeping the imprinting a secret, but I was floored to hear him instead suggest that Claire was a grown woman. He thought that I was cheating on Bella again, and I was at a loss for how to respond.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

That had been the wrong thing for me to say. I was fully aware of Jake's feelings for Bella, even if he didn't understand the extent of them. He had lost his chances with her when he went through his transformation - sometimes I thanked God that things happened the way they did, or Bella and I would have never found each other. But Jake was honorable, probably more honorable then I could ever hope to be, and he'd been the best kind of friend to her despite of our relationship. Because of that I knew Jake only got as angry as he was in that moment because the circumstances involved Bella, especially when the possibility of her getting hurt was involved, and I was unintentionally egging him on.

"I HEARD YOU! So, I will ask you one more time. Who. Is. Claire?"

The words I'd yet to speak aloud fell easily from my lips before my brain even registered that I was speaking, "She's my imprint."

It happened so fast I almost didn't have time to react, phasing just as a giant mass of fur flew at me, pinning me to the ground. I landed hard, the air whooshing from my lungs as I struggled to kick him off me. It didn't seem to matter that it was daylight and we were in plain view, nor did it matter that we had two witnesses nearby.

I finally placed my feet properly and shoved Jake off of me with my hind legs, flipping myself up onto all fours as we began to circle one another. Our eyes both gleamed with anger as Jake continued to scream at me within our minds. The second time he lunged, I was ready.

**F**

Bella and I were supposed to eat a late dinner that night. I had told her I had plans for the day, and I knew she was supposed to meet up with Angela later in the day; not to mention I wasn't sure how long I'd be. She never asked what I'd be doing and I never said.

My initial plan was to create another beach dinner, like the one after her high school graduation when I'd given her the wolf necklace. It was supposed to make up for the disastrous bonfire and to celebrate our relationship - but instead it would mean the end to the best thing that had ever happened to me.

Bella had often talked about the possibility of me imprinting; especially after Paul's imprint on Rachel. And though I'd been adamant about it not changing anything between us, she'd had an entirely different view - instead talking about not coming between me and my destiny. So chances were this would be my last dinner with her, because if I didn't tell her tonight, I knew that I likely never would.

Everything was in place - the blanket, the candles, the food - all as it was the first time we had dinner on the beach. I was a nervous wreck, however, fidgeting and unsure of how to bring up such a topic in conversation. It was going to kill me to break her heart.

As a last minute decision I had even called Jake to ask that he be nearby in case Bella needed him. Granted the first time I called he had refused to speak to me, but after relaying my message to Billy, I'd gotten a call back from Jake himself, agreeing to my request.

All there was left to do was wait.

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