Be My Reason to Stay

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go.  Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same."  - Flavia Weedn

 

Summary: Embry and Bella have know each other all their lives, falling easily in friendship. As they grow, falling in love is even easier, but admitting it is the hardest thing they'll have to do.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

An: This story was originally written for "The Rain Scene" Challange Contest. It will start off in Bella’s POV and then will switch to Embry’s in every other scene. The scene changes are marked.

Thanks to my beta, Buff82… there are no words.

Be My Reason to Stay

“Embry! I’m gonna get you!” I screeched as I chased my best friend across the play ground. I was six and he was five, and like every other boy his age, Embry had thought it would be funny to throw mud in my hair.

“You’ll have to catch me first,” he taunted, picking up speed as he ran away from me.

I pushed myself to go faster, desperately trying not to trip. Embry, despite being younger, was a good three inches taller, and therefore his longer legs prevented me from keeping up with him.

His laughter floated back to me as he whipped past the swings, his shoulder length black hair fanning out behind him. My mouth twisted into a mischievous smirk as I realized I could cut him off on the other side, but the sudden change in direction caused me to lose my footing.

In what felt like slow motion, I tripped over my own two feet, and fell knees and palms first onto the ground. I could feel the stinging from the scraps, and my eyes instantly flooded with tears.

I felt rather than saw Embry come up beside me. It had always been like that between us, growing up together with mother’s as best friends, we’d been close. Even at our young age, we just knew things about the other without having to say a word, and I could always tell when he was near.

“Bella, are you ok?” He asked in a concerned voice. I didn’t want him to see me cry, so I did my best to hide myself behind my hair.

“I hurt my knee,” I sniffled.

All traces of the taunting, annoying Embry were gone in replacement was a caring, tender Embry. “Let me see.” I glanced up, giving away the tears that were still streaming down my cheeks and moved so he could see the damage I had done to myself. Both knees were scrapped, bloody, and covered in dirt.

He looked contemplative for a moment and then leaned in, lightly kissing above each wound as I just stared at him as if he’d lost his mind. “What was that for?” I questioned, still a bit weary of the whole ‘boys had cooties’ thing that all the other girls at school repeatedly told me about.

“I don’t know. My mom always says that a kiss makes it better,” he explained with a shrug, as if it were the simplest answer in the world. “Come on, I’ll help you back.”

I stared at Embry in wonder as helped me stand and then expertly allowed me lean on him as I hobbled back across the park to where our mother’s were waiting for us. I was pretty sure, even at six years old - I had just fallen in love with my best friend.

*BMRTS*

“Bella?” I questioned, wondering if she was still awake. We were laid out in the tree house in my backyard having our typical weekend slumber party. It had never seemed odd to me that she was a girl or that she stayed over at my house, she was just - Bella.

“Yeah,” her voice was still resigned and distant, just as it had been all evening.

“You gonna tell me what’s bothering you?” We’d always been blunt with one another and always told each other everything, so it worried me that she might be keeping something from me.

She sat up and sighed before speaking. “It’s just …” she started, but paused as she fiddled with the hem of her shirt. I sat up too so I could see her better, and that’s when I saw the rosy blush across her cheeks.

“Hey Bells,” I spoke softly, but she wouldn’t make eye contact. Something about her expression, she looked completely broken, invoked that feeling in me again. It was a protective tendency I had always gotten when it came to Bella.

I typically chalked it up to her being like my little sister, despite her being older. But as she sat there, hunched into herself and looking so sad, it hurt my heart. “You can tell me,” I coaxed.

“It’s stupid, really,” she muttered shyly.

I rolled my eyes even if she couldn’t see it. “Nothing that bothers you this much can be stupid.”

“It’s just that … Jessica and Lauren were talking today …” she trailed off again, and I groaned. Anything involving those two girls was never a good thing. Both were annoying and picked on Bella any chance they got.

“What happened?” It’s not like I could ever hit a girl, but if either one of them had done something to hurt my Bella, I would find a way to get even.

When she answered, her voice was so quiet I had to strain to hear. “Jessica was telling Lauren about how Mike Newton kissed her.” Her blushed deepened. “And then they saw me and started in about no one would ever kiss me because of how plain I am.”

The discussion of Bella and boys and kissing secretly terrified me. It was the only time I realized we were different, and I had no idea how to soothe her pain.

“I’ve never kissed a girl … besides, they have cooties.” I smiled wickedly at her, but her sad expression didn’t budge. “Hey, this really bothers you doesn’t it?” I asked, and she nodded.

I lifted her chin and saw tears lining her red rimmed eyes. “The guy who gets your first kiss is going to be a lucky jerk,” I told her with sincerity. At ten-years-old I’d never given much thought to kissing, so the current conversation was entirely out of my league.But, if it was bothering Bella, I had to fix it.

She smiled only slightly, and I was getting frustrated that I wasn’t helping. I had to do something - and then it hit me. I could give her what she wanted … if she wanted me to.

My brow furrowed in determination. I knew I could possibly embarrass myself horribly, but it was worth it to at least try.

“We should kiss,” I stated bluntly.

Her eyes grew wide, her cheeks flushing impossibly redder as she looked away. “You don’t have to do that,” she said as she shook her head.

I frowned. “I want to.”

Her head shot up, her voice full of surprise. “You want to?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Sure.”

Her lips twitched in a slight smile, and I knew I’d done the right thing. “Just stay very still,” I told her. She licked her lips, and her eyes fluttered shut as she sat completely frozen. I leaned in closer, my gaze flickering between her closed eyes and her moist lips.

I paused about an inch away, and I could feel her breath fan across my face. My heart was pounding, and I didn’t understand it. It was just Bella - I didn’t think of her that way … kissing her shouldn’t be a big deal.

Finally gathering my courage, I closed the distance between us, pressing my mouth lightly against hers. Her lips were soft and warm, and I pulled back almost immediately, shocked by the feelings kissing her had brought about.

My own lips felt like they were tingling with electricity. Bella’s eyes were still closed, but she was smiling and touching her hand to her mouth.

“There, now you can say you’ve been kissed the next time those girls give you any trouble.”

Her eyes flew open, and she stared at me, as if only just realizing I was still sitting next to her. “Uh … yeah, thanks,” she stuttered.

“Let’s get some sleep,” I suggested as I laid back down, snuggling into my sleeping bag and facing away from her. I listened to her settle herself into her own sleeping bag before I spoke again. “Good night Bella.”

There was silence for a brief moment before she spoke. “Good night Embry.”

I waited until I heard her breathing even out, indicating she had fallen asleep, before I rolled over to study her face. I may have been young, but I knew without a doubt - I was in love with my best friend, Bella Swan.

*BMRTS*

Things between Embry and I changed the summer after I turned fourteen, more so than I would at first realize. That summer my Mom and Dad decided they wanted to get a divorce. It was something I had suspected was coming, but what I didn’t see coming was my Mom telling me that she moving to Florida - and she wasn’t taking me with her.

Embry was there for me after they broke the news, holding me as I cried myself to sleep.

But only a week later he came to me with news of his own - his mom was getting remarried, and they were moving from Forks to the Indian reservation in La Push. That meant that we would be attending separate schools in the fall.

Not only would I be starting my first year of high school, I would be starting it without the support of my closest friend - the boy I had been secretly in love with for the last eight years of my life.

Granted, Embry wouldn’t be starting high school for another year, but we had grown accustomed to living a few houses apart and getting to see one another whenever we liked. It would be a fifteen minute drive to see him after he moved and another two years before I got my license.

It felt like my world was shattering around me - that I was losing the people who meant the most to me.

The biggest difference in my life had been when Charlie said Embry and I were too old to continue our sleepovers, and then he put a curfew into effect. I’d broken down in a childish tantrum, but he didn’t budge; I ended up stomping up the stairs and locking myself in my room, making sure I slammed the door behind me.

To my delight, other than Charlie’s new rules, for awhile it seemed as if life didn’t change all that much. If he had to work late at the station then he’d drop me off at either Embry’s or Billy Black’s, Charlie’s best friend who also lived on the reservation.

My feelings for Embry were growing more and more every day, but he had yet to show any signs of returning those feelings. It became easier to hide, however, because Billy’s son, Jacob, would often join us when we’d hang out, preventing me from accidently spilling my most treasured secret.

*BMRTS*

I watched from across the beach as Jake held Bella in his arms. The insane amount of jealousy I felt was nothing new to me. It’d been a prominent emotion ever since he’d first asked her out six months ago. In fact, it had taken everything I had in me not to pummel him right there and then.

She threw her head back and laughed, and I clenched my fists knowing it was him that brought out that sound from her - not me.

Turning my gaze away from the scene that was causing me more pain than good, I stared out at the waves and let my mind wander. I should’ve realized that Jake had a thing for Bella before it was too late. It started off with little things like him asking her to tutor him, offering motorcycle rides, and then she started visiting the Black’s house without even telling me she was coming.

That’s when I knew things had changed, and most of all, I should’ve told her I loved her while I’d still had the chance.

“What’s got you all broody and over here by yourself?” Bella’s sweet voice teased me as she sat down beside me.

I shrugged my shoulders, not trusting myself to answer her at that moment. She knew something was wrong, but we’d grown apart from the days when we’d confess all our secrets to one another. I missed those days.

“Jake and I were going to get some pizza after this, wanna join?”

“No thanks,” my voice was flat, emotionless, but thankfully she didn’t question me. I forced myself to turn and look at her then, immediately getting lost in those brown eyes I’d come to know so well. As she stared back into mine it felt as if she could see right through me, that she could somehow tell just by looking at me that I was in love with her.

The urge to divulge my feelings I had been harboring for the last six years had never been stronger.

“Bella, I - " I was cut off immediately by the sound of her squeals as Jake reached down to pick her up and threw her over his shoulder. He carried her off towards the water, attempting to throw her in, but she clung to him tightly in an effort to stay dry.

Deciding I could watch no more, I stood and turned my back just in time to miss an intimate kiss between them. She wasn’t my Bella anymore.

*BMRTS*

“Dad,” I shouted from my room, “can you take this box downstairs?”

“Need some help?” A deep familiar voice sounded from the doorway. Startled, I spun around, surprised to find Embry leaning against the door frame, hands in his pockets. My heart beat sped up as it always did when in close proximity to my former best friend.

“Umm … sure,” I said wearily. I assumed Embry had heard the news that I was leaving; it was the only explanation my mind could come up with for why he was standing in my room as if the last year hadn’t happened.

I knew things had been different once I started seeing Jake, but it was Embry’s lack of interest in me as anything more than a friend that prompted me to date in the first place. I never really understood how we began to drift apart, but I could pinpoint exactly when it was that Embry effectively ended our friendship.

It was exactly a year ago. I was still with Jake then, and the three of us had spent the day at the beach. I knew something was bothering him, but I didn’t want to push, hoping he would be comfortable enough to open up to me.

And it almost seemed that he would, I could see it in his eyes even, but in the end - he didn’t. By the time Jake and I were done swimming, Embry was gone. After that day he stopped calling me, and when I called him there was always one excuse or another to avoid me; eventually I stopped trying.

I grabbed another box and began removing the clothes from my closet, folding them and placing them inside. Embry remained by the door, his eyes watching me intently.

“So it’s true, you’re really leaving.” The way he said it made it sound more like a statement and not a question.

The pounding in my chest continued. “I’m going to spend some time with my Mom, go to the community college in Jacksonville. There’s no reason for me to stay here,” I explained. It was a half truth, because in reality I didn’t care whether I went to Jacksonville or not, I just didn’t want to stay in Forks without Embry in my life.

“Damn it Bella,” he growled, taking me by surprise. I froze, my eyes wide as I looked once more in his direction. His eyes were narrowed at me, and I cringed slightly at the anger I saw reflecting in them. “No reason?! No reason for you to stay?!” He all but shouted at me.

I wasn’t sure what to think, but some part of my brain understood. He’s telling you he’s a reason to stay, my mind provided for me. My eyes narrowed in return as I threw down the shirt I was holding and placed my hands on my hips.

“No, there is absolutely no reason,” my voice was low, menacing. “What the hell are you doing here anyway? Where were you a year ago, a month ago? Where were you?” I was firing off questions, getting angrier by the second as a year’s worth of hurt came crashing through me all at once.

Without realizing it I’d walked across the room and was standing only a mere foot away from him. I watched as he opened and closed his mouth several times without speaking. It was obvious he wanted to say something, but couldn’t find the words.

Instead I searched his eyes, they’d always told me the truth. And that’s when I saw it - the emotion, the torment, the … love?

“I’m sorry,” he breathed, turning around and leaving just as suddenly as he had appeared.

*BMRTS*

I was stupid. That was the only explanation I could come up with, because nothing else could cover the way I’d handled the news of Bella’s departure. I’d abandoned her and our friendship, because I wasn’t strong enough to handle the fact she was with someone else. But, then I had to go and confront her about leaving, which, justifiably so, had pissed her off.

It wasn’t until she was standing in front of me, calling me out for being a shitty friend that I realized how much my decision to save myself, and my heart, had affected her.

Her eyes stared into mine - seeking answers I wasn’t ready to give, and yet, I couldn’t look away. Her expression changed ever so slightly, and I could tell that she’d found what she was looking for. But instead of admitting aloud that I loved her, I ran - again.

Seventeen years Bella and I had been the best of friends, seven of which I had loved her with my whole heart. I couldn’t keep sitting around and pondering the ‘what if’ or ‘what might have been’; I couldn’t let her leave without telling her once and for all how I really felt.

I was in the car before I even realized I was moving, breaking every speed limit between La Push and Forks. The typical fifteen minute drive took only five, and I didn’t even bother turning the car off before I was out and headed towards the front door of Bella’s house.

No answer.

It was then that I realized Charlie’s cruiser wasn’t in the driveway, and I could only assume they’d already left for the airport. I knew she was leaving sometime that day, but I had no idea what time her flight left. I could only hope I would catch her before it did.

I once again sped my way down the roads, praying to God that I wouldn’t get pulled over. The Port Angeles airport was a good hour away - I made it in forty minutes. Only another mere five minutes later, and I was rushing through the entrance doors, scanning the area for any sign of Bella.

Monitors on my left caught my attention. I searched for any departing flights to Seattle with a connection onto Jacksonville.

I found only one.

And it had left ten minutes before I arrived.

My heart broke, and I slumped down in the nearest chair. She was gone.

I wasn’t sure how long I sat there - five minutes, fifteen, an hour - but when I was finally able to stand myself up, I returned to my car and made, what would be the longest drive of my life, back home.

When I crossed the border back into La Push, I couldn’t bring myself to go back to my house just yet. I needed to run, to rid myself of the frustration that was slowly building inside me. I parked in the lot near the beach Bella and I used to hang out at.

Everything reminded me of Bella.

I started off slow, jogging down one of the paths that wound through the trees, but as each memory of her invaded my mind, I pushed myself harder - faster.

My legs were screaming in protest, but I couldn’t slow down. I wanted to feel the pain, I deserved it.

Eventually I stopped, noting that the sky had turned to an ugly gray as if it were about to rain. It seemed fitting to my mood. I pulled my t-shirt over my head to wipe away the sweat that had formed across my face.

I realized I was close to my house, so I opted to walk there instead of going back for my car; I could get it later. The driveway was empty, and I was thankful that neither of my parents were home to witness my inevitable breakdown.

Something on the steps caught my eye, and I froze. I squeezed my eyes shut, wondering if it were nothing more than a figment of my imagination - that maybe I had wished for it so much that I’d made it happen.

But when I opened them again, the image was the same. There, on the steps leading into my house, was Bella.

I felt a few droplets of rain hit my bare skin, but I remained still, unwavering from my statue like state. Her eyes stared straight into my own as she stood from her seat, her expression unreadable.

“I love you,” her sweet voice spoke. I continued to stare, unblinking, unspeaking.

“I just couldn’t get on that plane, and I know I should have told you sooner, I should’ve told you twelve years ago when I first realized it,” she paused, waiting for a response, but I still didn’t believe what I was hearing.

“I love you,” she repeated.

It was everything I’d ever wanted to hear and more. Bella wanted me - she wanted me.

I could tell that my silence was starting to affect her, so without thinking twice, I marched towards her in determination. Her eyes grew wide, but before she could register what I was doing, I cupped her face in my hands and crashed my mouth against hers.

Her response was immediate. One hand fisted in the back of my hair as the other roamed across the muscles in my back. I moved one of my hands to the back of head, the other around her waist, holding her to me.

The rain started began coming down at a faster pace, but I ignored it.

She sighed in contentment, and I took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Her tongue mingled with mine, sending shockwaves through my body. I began to taste the salt from the tears that trailed slowly down my face. They mingled with the rain, and I pulled away slightly to see that Bella had streaks down her cheeks as well.

We were both panting, trying desperately to catch our breath. I leaned forward to rest my forehead against hers. She had opened her heart, shown her love for me, and it was time for me to do the same.

“I love you too Bella. I always have, I just… I never - “

She cut me off, her voice pleading, “Be my reason to stay.”

The rain was pouring down, soaking us both as we stood there. She’d never looked more beautiful, and I smiled with the realization that she was once again, My Bella.

“I’m never letting you go.”