Fate: Chapter 9

"Life is like a game of cards. The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will."

- Jawaharlal Nehru

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

An: Buff82 did her beta thing, she's the best. Thanks, bb. You can follow me on twitter, I'm on there often, and give updates for progression of the story. Username is Katbug86.

Chapter 9: Ready or Not

QPOV

I wasn't sure how I ended up there. It wasn't where I had planned to go, and, yet, there I stood. It was like a beckon, calling out to me, begging me to come to the one place I wanted to avoid most; the small, simple house with the wooden porch and newly painted shutters—Sam's house.

I didn't know if that girl was still staying with him and Emily. I didn't want to remember her name. That would make it real, make her an actual person, and it would mean that I wasn't dreaming up the fact I had imprinted.

There were so many questions I needed answered. Sam was the only one who would be able to help me, the only one I trusted. Up until that point, I don't think anyone knew it was possible to imprint on someone who wasn't around the same age as you. And of all people, I had to go and imprint on a fucking toddler.

Frustration and anger brewed heavily inside me, growing stronger with each passing thought, and I could feel myself beginning to shake. I needed to calm myself the hell down and quick. I thought of Bella and our time spent together the day before. It was obvious she was confused and wanted to know what was going on with me, but I wasn't ready to talk about it. Not yet.

I would have to lie, and lying was something I didn't ever want to do to Bella. So, instead, I did the next best thing—I avoided. If I didn't talk about it, and she didn't ask me, then it wasn't technically lying— right?

Waking up with her in my arms had been just what I needed after all that had happened Saturday evening. She looked beautiful, content, causing my heart to ache and clench in guilt. I wanted to show her how much she meant to me, let her know that she was the only one for me—forever.

But in trying to show her that, I think I had gone overboard. Breakfast in bed had been a good idea; that much was clear in the way she moaned with each bite of her food. However, I noticed that as the day progressed, Bella seemed to be becoming increasingly uncomfortable. She was staring at me with an odd expression on her face, and she even snapped at me a couple times, pushing me away from her and stomping off. I knew by the time I offered to carry her upstairs to use the bathroom that I had overstepped my boundaries, but I just couldn't seem to help myself.

The excuse of patrolling was easy enough to use so I could give her the space I sensed she needed. So, for a very rare occasion, I didn't sleep over at her house that night. I didn't even call her the following morning, not knowing what her plans were, or if she would want to see me.

Which was how I ended up standing in front of Sam's house at eight o'clock in the morning, unable to bring myself to knock on the door, and completely terrified of one very small little girl.

"You going to stand there all day?" a familiar voice spoke from behind me.

I spun around, startled, "Shit, Sam, you scared me. And, no, I don't plan to." My hand clutched the front of my chest as my heart rate slowed back down.

"Is that why you've been standing there, staring at my house for the last hour?" he cocked an eyebrow at me in question.

I shook my head, looking down at the ground, because I was slightly embarrassed that he had been watching me. "I wanted to talk to you, about… that girl, but I didn't know…" glancing at the house briefly, I trailed off and hoped he would understand what I meant.

He nodded, knowing what I wanted to say. "Her name's Claire," he said suddenly, his voice somewhat forceful.

My eyes snapped up to meet his, wide and unsure. "Excuse me?" I'd heard him perfectly clear, but he was saying things I didn't want to hear.

"Your imprint, her name is Claire."

The anger flared up inside me once more. "Is that supposed to mean something to me?" I spat. He shrugged, not bothering to answer my question. I could tell he was irritated by my response, but he kept control, choosing to ignore my immature outburst.

"You're drawn to her." It was a statement, not a question.

I shook my head furiously, glaring at him. "NO, I love Bella."

He laughed lightly, angering me further, "I didn't say that you didn't." His expression shifted, becoming more serious, his eyes locking on mine, "But loving Bella doesn't mean that you're not drawn to your imprint. You may not feel it now, but you keep fighting this, and there will be an ache in your chest so painful that you'll wish you hadn't."

"I can't," I choked out, overcome with emotion. There was no doubt in my mind that he was right, no matter how much I wished he wasn't. Sam had been in my shoes before, loving one girl while fate told him that his heart was to belong to another. His love wasn't able to win over something as pre-destined as an imprint, and unfortunately, history was about to repeat itself.

I understood then why Jake had hated the concept of imprinting as much as he did. It simply took away yet another one of our choices in life. Not only did we have our destiny chosen for us, we were also having our option of who we could love taken from us. It wasn't fair.

"You should see her. You won't have to talk to her, just sit there, but I think it's a good idea," Sam suggested. I looked from him, towards the house, and back again, my expression solemn.

Contemplating the situation, I knew I needed to trust Sam. He was my leader, my Alpha, and if he thought it was a good idea to go inside his house and at least look at the girl that fate said I should be with, then I would.

"Ok."

He placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder and led me up the path towards the porch. Emily greeted us when we walked through the door, Sam standing behind me to ensure I didn't make a run for it.

"Quil, nice to see you, would you like some muffins, I just finished baking them?" She smiled, walking over to Sam and kissing him lovingly as I stepped further into the house.

I grinned, my uneasiness slightly lessened at the thought of food. "I'm sure you already know the answer to that question," I joked.

She turned and winked at me, "Of course, but I'll keep asking anyway." I watched as she walked back into the kitchen, and I froze when I noticed someone sitting at the kitchen table. Claire.

Her knees tucked under her, she sat, looking no different than she had two days prior. There was a book and a box of crayons sprawled out before her. My heart clenched in unfamiliar ways, the overwhelming urge to protect her, keep her safe, consuming me.

I must have been standing there too long when a voice filtered into my thoughts. "Come on, it's not like she's going to bite," Sam's laughter caught my attention, and he gave me a little shove, breaking me from my trance.

I rolled my eyes, muttering, "Ha ha, very funny."

The blonde haired toddler stopped her coloring and glanced over at us. Her eyes stared into mine, watching me curiously as Sam and I entered the kitchen. I took a seat at the table, as far from her as possible, and Sam stood beside Emily.

"Claire," Sam addressed the little girl as he set down a plate of muffins on the table. She turned her head away from me to look at him, "this is my friend Quil." He nodded in my direction as way of introduction.

"Hi," her high pitched, melodic voice rang out.

"Hi there," I responded, much more cheerful than I expected to sound.

She grinned widely, and I couldn't help myself but to smile back. "Want to color with me?" she asked, big blue eyes looking at me expectantly.

"Umm, sure." It wasn't like I could tell her no, but being around her was both comforting and unnerving. She flipped through her book, stopping at a picture that she seemed to approve of, and ripped it out, handing it to me. I thanked her, and quickly picked up a small, green crayon to color with.

Claire picked up another crayon and began coloring her own page again. Each mark was going over the lines of the picture, but it was cute how her face scrunched up in concentration as she worked. I saw Sam and Emily from the corner of my eye heading into the living room. Sam stopped, questioning me with his eyes, and I nodded to let him know I was ok.

"We'll be right over here if you need us," Emily reassured me before she walked out behind him.

"Thanks."

I sat across the table from Claire for I don't know how long. Each time I'd choose a different color, I would glance over to see what she was doing, unsure of what else to do; I wasn't sure whether I should try to talk to her or simply sit there.

Thankfully, she didn't seem to mind the silence, because I wouldn't have known what to say anyway. Eventually Emily returned to the kitchen, making up a plate of sandwiches for us, indicating that it was already lunch time.

An hour later, I still hadn't said a word to the girl who was supposedly going to one day be the love of my life. Emily came in, announcing it was nap time. She reached for Claire, and both of us were surprised when the little girl yelled and pulled away.

"No! I want Quil!"

My eyes were wide with shock that she'd just asked for me, but who was I to deny her. She was only three, and had no idea the amount of havoc she was creating in my life. Very cautiously I stood up, walking around to Claire and scooped her up into my arms. She smiled brightly before breaking out in a large yawn.

Emily directed me to the spare bedroom, and I pulled back the covers before laying the tiny tot down in the middle of the bed. She immediately rolled over on her side, slipping her thumb into her mouth, and closed her eyes. I wasn't exactly sure what to do, so I covered her up, making sure she was tucked in tight, and left the room.

Emily was waiting in the hall, a knowing smile on her face. I chose to ignore it, walking out to the living room, and plopping myself down in one of the chairs.

"You're good with her," Sam noted, not removing his eyes from the TV. My head snapped in his direction.

"Your point is?" Trying hard to hold back the sudden flare of annoyance, I knew I was failing as my words were clipped, short.

"I'm just saying, you being around her seemed to come naturally. You did well," he explained, looking over at me that time.

I held back the smartass comments floating through my mind, and instead thanked him. "But it doesn't change anything, I'm still staying with Bella," I reminded him, my voice firm.

I saw the flash of anger flash in his eyes, and then it was gone. "I know I've already told you this, but I'm going to tell you again. You. Will. Hurt. Her. Omitting the truth is just as bad as lying."

"Quil," Emily spoke for the first time, "he's right. An imprint isn't something you can just ignore; it'll do more harm than good."

I wasn't about to snap at Emily and tell her that she was wrong, so I kept my mouth shut. Thankfully Sam didn't bring the topic up again, and we sat quietly watching TV together. I was starting to drift off when a loud sound started me.

The front door swung open, and an irritated looking Jacob stomped in, his eyes focused solely on me. He was one of three people that I had been doing my best to avoid, because I knew that he'd be upset about how I'd treated Bella on at the bonfire.

I stayed in my seat, not bothering to move, knowing he'd simply chase me down if I tried; I wasn't in the mood to get my ass kicked. Jake was bigger than I was, and I knew he could inflict some damage on me if he really wanted to.

He stopped about a foot away from me, visibly attempting to reign in his emotions. "You want to tell me why the fuck Bella thinks you're cheating on her?" He practically screamed at me.

I stared, dumbfounded, Jake's words ricocheting around in my head. Bella thought I was cheating? I thought there was no way I could feel worse, but I was wrong, dead wrong. My insides clenched from the tension rippling through my body. I could feel my soul being torn in two different directions.

Claire.


Bella.

Bella couldn't think that – I would never do that to her. But as my subconscious filtered thoughts of Claire's lovable smile, her tiny laugh, I knew that wasn't too far off. My imprinting would hurt Bella just as much.

How could I do that to her? My lungs burned inside my chest, and I realized I was holding my breath.

"I said, Why. The. Fuck. Does Bella think you're cheating on her?" Jake bellowed again, shaking me from my haze.

"You need to keep it down, Claire's asleep," I heard myself saying without thinking.

It was obviously not an answer he'd been expecting, and he paused for a second, shooting me a weird look.

"Who?"

Emily answered him before I could, "Claire, my niece."

"Sorry," he mumbled, giving her an apologetic look, and then turned back to me. "Answer the question," his voice quieter, but just as demanding.

I shrugged, completely baffled, and not wanting to let him in on my conflicting thoughts. "I have no idea why she'd think that. I spent all day with her yesterday, and, if anything, I thought I was over doing it."

"Sure you weren't making up for abandoning her on Saturday," he spat.

My eyes narrowed, "Fuck you."

"What, did you chicken out on the proposal? Are you cheating on her? You don't deserve Bella, you should have seen her! You're no better than that bloodsucker! "

I felt like I'd been physically slapped in the face, and a low growl rumbled through my chest. My hand balled into tight fists at my sides, my body quivering in anger. How dare he? "You have no fucking clue what you are talking about. And I didn't leave her to wonder what she had done wrong. That's more than I can say for you," I seethed, my chest heaving against the fabric of my shirt.

Jake's eyes grew wide, blackened with rage. "I had no control over that! It wasn't my choice and you know that!"

Throwing my hands in the air and jumping from my spot on the couch, I stepped towards him. "And neither do I!" I screamed without thinking, adrenaline searing through my veins.

"Not here, not now," Sam intervened, using his Alpha voice in attempt to get us both to calm down.

Jacob eyed me curiously, "What do you mean—"

"Not. Now," Sam cut him off before he could finish his sentence. "Jacob, I think you need to leave."

Jacob started walking towards the front door, pausing briefly, and glancing back over his shoulder, "I just came here 'cause you're nearly late for dinner." The sound of the screen door snapping shut made me cringe, because I knew just how upset he truly was. Even if he didn't get to say what was on his mind then, didn't mean he wouldn't let me know first chance he got.

"I think you should probably go too," Sam told me, and I nodded, knowing he was right. If the day at his house had taught me anything, it was that no matter what, Bella was worth it, and I was going to start treating her as such.

It may seem impossible, but I would be the first one to break an imprint, it would not define me, control me. Bella was all that mattered, all that meant anything to me. Claire would be gone tomorrow, back to her Mom, and I would be able to focus and forget about her.

"Yeah, I think so too. Thanks for lunch Emily."

"You're welcome."

I reluctantly began making my way in the same direction Jake had just gone. Leaving meant going to a dinner that included Billy and Chief Swan, both of whom were both aware of my previous proposal plans; plans that I was supposed to have followed through with at the bonfire, and instead, I ran off and disappeared. It wouldn't surprise me if both of them wanted to kill me the minute I stepped through the door. Part of me hoped, though, that Bella's presence would keep them mellowed down for the time being.

Jake was already half way down the road when I stepped out of the house and glanced over in the direction to the Black's.

"Might as well get this over with," I said to no one, but myself.

When I stepped inside Billy's house, just a few seconds after Jake, I could feel two pairs of eyes staring at me intently. Both Billy and Charlie were glaring at me, no doubt wondering what in the hell happened at the bonfire. Their gaze made me uneasy, and I chose to go in search of Bella before a confrontation could occur.

"Wait," Charlie's voice was stern, stopping me in my tracks. "Obviously we can't do this here, but you have some explaining to do boy."

I nodded. "Yes sir." I glanced from him to Billy, who was watching my every move. Charlie turned back around, and I took that to mean that conversation was over.

Taking a deep breath, I wandered over to the kitchen where I knew Bella would be. She had her back to me, stirring something on the stove. Stepping up behind her, I placed my hands on hips, causing her to jump. I chuckled lightly, and placed a kiss on the side of her neck.

"I missed you today, baby," I whispered in her ear.

She sighed and leaned back into my chest. "I missed you too."